


One Giant Leap for Sam

by Meowser_Clancy



Series: Jimel Moments [11]
Category: Ghost Whisperer
Genre: Death, F/M, Return, True Love, otp
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-04
Updated: 2016-05-04
Packaged: 2018-06-06 07:09:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6744511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Meowser_Clancy/pseuds/Meowser_Clancy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tag to 4x18: Leap of Faith. What exactly brought Sam to the point where he'd jump in the water to get Melinda?</p>
            </blockquote>





	One Giant Leap for Sam

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ghostwhispererfangirl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghostwhispererfangirl/gifts).



> For Mariah. For her being my bestest friend. When you hurt, I hurt.

 

* * *

It didn't make sense. Sam fully admitted that. If Melinda was a crazy woman, if she truly believed this...her...delusion, how could he still be so attracted to her? How could he still ache to see her, to touch her, to know her body as he had that night...that strange, beautiful night?

He scrubbed at his face, angry and sad and wistful. Why couldn't she be normal? Why couldn't their love story be simple and easy? Why had he said to goodbye to Jordan for this woman?

A woman who was insane, possibly. Mentally ill, almost definitely true. Beautiful...true. The woman who seemed to control his gravity...

He stared at himself in the mirror, wondering.

He looked at his phone. Ten minutes since he'd called her.

He knew he wasn't getting a call back.

* * *

Flopped on his bed, too tired to sleep, Sam tried to consider all of the possibilities. If Melinda was mentally ill, there were meds she could take...right? If he could convince her to take them, to get tested...

He shook his head. Some blurry part of his mind seemed to be telling him that those would unalterably change her personality, make her less _Melinda_ and that wasn't something he wanted at all.

He realized that Melinda and strangeness had to go hand in hand. Part of Melinda was her oddities, her passion to help people through the grieving process...in ways that he didn't understand but surely, it was good for the people she helped.

Could he live with a Melinda who wasn't, well, Melinda?

He shook his head, knowing that he was being an idiot. There was no Melinda without her passions, her intrigues.

So, that settled, what were his other options now that Melinda had to be crazy or she wasn't...Melinda?

They'd be to give in to the craziness. To embrace it. To say that he was who she said he was...wished he was...

But he didn't want to be.

His throat seemed to hurt and he wondered if he was imagining it.

The reason he didn't want to be...Jim...was because he wanted Melinda to love him. He had fallen head over heels for this woman and it had cut him unbelievably, once everything had processed, to realize that he wasn't what she wanted at all. That he wasn't anything near to what she wanted. That he was supposed to be her husband, that by the simple fact that he was _himself_ she despised him.

He rolled onto his side, feeling a vague pain settle into his chest. This was literally hurting him.

He wasn't sure he could live with being Jim.

Hell, until recently he wasn't sure he could live with being Sam.

* * *

Ned had finally left.

Sam was angry; with Ned, with Melinda, with himself...with Jim. What the fuck kind of man had he been that everyone wanted him back? Wanted him more than they wanted Sam? That Sam could just be cast aside like this in these peoples' minds...

It didn't make any sense. He felt angry tears in his eyes and he hated himself for it.

The word, Carter, stood out on his day planner page out of the corner of his eye.

He tore the page out and ripped it to pieces.

It didn't give him any satisfaction.

He wanted to get dead drunk tonight, but he wouldn't let himself. There was something, that damn stupid little voice, that told him how deleterious an alcohol binge would be for his metabolism...how you never wanted to beyond a bottle of beer or a glass of wine in one night.

He hated that voice. He hated that voice because it never seemed to really be his.

So that left one possibility. Jim. Jim was a paramedic. He wanted to be a med student. He was going to be a doctor. So of course he'd know about things like this.

And things like saving that guy. And all those strange minutia of details that made no sense for him to remember.

He was so angry with himself for even contemplating this. He was _Sam._ Sam _Lucas._ He was a perfectly decent human being. There was no reason for him to give in to the delusion, to force himself to be someone...something else.

And yet.

He looked dimly at the ripped page.

Carter.

* * *

_She doesn't know anything about it. She doesn't know about the bike. She couldn't have told me about Carter._

Sam walked down the street, in a complete fog, not noticing the people he was passing.

Everything seemed to be falling into place. He...had to be...Jim Clancy. No. No 'had to's. No. He _could be_ Jim Clancy. And goddamnit, he wanted to be. He wanted to be the man that Melinda loved and Eli envied and Ned seemed to damn near worship.

But at the same time, he didn't want to lose himself. He'd only just gotten himself back.

But had he really? Had he regained his being? No. Then he should be able to remember things about Jordan, beyond her shampoo.

He walked into a lightpost, and lurched backwards, head stinging.

"Are you okay?" A woman asked, startled.

"I'm fine," he managed, and hurried away. He was running, suddenly. He knew he had to get there in a hurry.

But where was there? What was he heading towards?

The answer came to him at a traffic light.

He picked up his cell phone, dialing Melinda. He wanted to talk to her. To give her one more chance to talk him into this, to talk him into being Jim.

Because he wanted to be. For her. For himself.

For the utter grandeur and insanity that was love.

* * *

Eli was ready to risk his life for Melinda. To dive under that water and possibly to never come back. To possibly not even find Melinda. Melinda might not even be there.

Why did Melinda have to turn everyone around her insane?

His heart was beating. He couldn't pay attention to his brain, because right now it was screaming at his heart to shut the fuck up, but he didn't want it to. He wanted to follow his heart. He had to do this.

He didn't care if he was Jim. He didn't care if he was Sam.

Wasn't the part that mattered Melinda? That she could be down there. That she could be about to die. That he could lose her. That he didn't want to lose her. More than anything, he did not want to lose her.

The water hit him hard. He used swimming techniques he didn't know he knew.

The rooms were small, cramped. There wasn't enough air.

He hit his head.

Melinda was there, screaming, crying. He was dying. He was in pain.

He was swimming through the water, trying to figure this out.

He had to get to her.

And then memories flooded his brain. As oxygen left, as his brain stopped being able to function, his heart took over. He remembered. Melinda was there. He was there. It was him. His arms were around hers. He was kissing her. They were dancing. It was their wedding.

She was his.

Sam Lucas had jumped into the water. It was Jim who emerged, coughing and desperate, to a Melinda who no longer knew him.

* * *

Melinda was crying. 

There was a look on her face that he wasn't sure he'd ever seen before. One of shock, and desperation, and relief. Pure, utter relief. He'd never seen her like this. Never.

He pulled her into his arms, wondering why she'd called him Sam in the first place. Wondering what this all meant. Wondering why he couldn't remember what he was doing here. Wondering why she was crying, just at him telling her to call him Jim.

Of course she should call him Jim. Why would she ever call him anything else? 

And then nothing mattered. Melinda was in arms, clinging, beautiful. She was kissing him all over his face, and they were trapped underground, and it was all Melinda could to hold onto him, keep kissing him.

He finally pulled back. "Don't we have to get out of here?" 

* * *

Everything was explained. It didn't make sense. But whenever did things make sense around Melinda? When had it ever mattered? 

She was melting in his arms, holding so tight that he couldn't breathe. Her hair was messy, and she was wearing an open black dress shirt. His hands were reaching for the buttons. 

He knew that he should be more worried about what he'd done while in Sam's body so far. About why Melinda had been so shocked to see him. Why she'd looked so vulnerable and almost scared of him before he'd said  _call me Jim._

And then it didn't matter. That could all be talked about another day.

The buttons were all undone. He slipped the shirt off of her shoulders, hearing it hit the floor with an almost inaudible whumph.

She wasn't letting go of him. Her lips were pressed against his and she wouldn't let them part for the world. 

He ached, wondering what he'd done to her during this time. He ached, wondering how he could make it up to her. 

There were tears running down her face again, onto his cheeks, onto his chest as she finally pulled away and buried her face in his neck.

"Mel..." He whispered. 

"Jim," she replied, the word so full of meaning in how she said it. It blew his mind. 

He picked her up, swinging her into his arms. He didn't like this new body. As Jim he'd have never faltered, but with this guy, there was a moment of danger.

And then he was carrying her up the stairs, and she was clinging to him like she'd never let go again.

He placed her on the bed, on their marriage bed. Her eyes were dark as she looked up at him. She bit her lip as he pulled his shirt up over his head, as his chest was bared. She leaned up to press a kiss to his pecs, to breathe him in for a moment. "I love you," she whispered, pressing another kiss to his skin.

Her jeans were in the way. So were his.

Hands not fumbling for a second, he undid the button on her jeans and pulled them from her body. She lay there, looking up at him, clad in her panties and bra only.

He pulled his own jeans off, not able to take his eyes off of her. 

Going by what Melinda said, he hadn't seen his wife in...so long. Too long.

His boxers fell to the floor.

He stepped forward and let his weight dip the bed, slipping one arm underneath her to cradle her as he undid the clasp of her bra. His eyes were on hers, holding her gaze in a moment that seemed to take forever.

He threw the bra on the floor, feasting his eyes on her breasts.

"I thought..." Melinda began, just as he pressed a kiss to one.

"What?" He asked, unable to stop, his tongue swirling around one nipple in a movement that made her twist beneath him. He could feel the movement of muscles in her back pressed against his arm.

"I never thought I'd see that look in your eyes again," she said. "When you took my bra off. You always got this awed look. I..." 

Her voice broke. Her voice broke and Jim's heart went along with it. Suddenly he hated Sam. 

He moved to her other breast, taking his time playing with it, nipping at the skin around it. Her nipple was rock hard before he captured it, sucking at it until she moaned, low and passionate.

He kissed down her stomach, down the feathersoft skin of her abs, until he reached her thighs. 

She was panting. She looked almost pained as she gazed at him, poised at her entrance, like she still couldn't believe this was happening.

He  _hated_ Sam. He knew that now. No matter what chance they'd been given, Sam had ruined her, he'd hurt Melinda.

Jim entered her, feeling her gasp, and then move while he was inside her. She was pushing against him, trying to feel as much of him as she could.

He leaned down and pressed a kiss to her neck, to her breasts, to her lips. He brought her to the point of a shuddering orgasm, to the point where she was only crying out his name, again and again.

He came with her, feeling her contract against him.

And then it was done. He gently moved off of her, immediately moving to take her in his arms. She was crying. She was crying so hard. She was saying only word, over and over, as he pulled her into his arms and held her like he'd never let her go again.

_Jim. Jim. Jim._


End file.
